Northern Lights
by Chris Anthony
Summary: When Kate refuses to to be rescued Jack is forced to make a difficult decision. Ultimately having to choose between a normal life without Kate, or a life on the island with the woman he loves.


Disclaimer: I do not own "Lost", or any of the characters. It all belongs to JJ & Co, and ABC

Northern Lights

"Jack, did you see it!" Charlie exclaimed as he came into the tent with Jack.

Jack looked up in confusion. He raised his eyebrows curiously at Charlie. "Did I see what?"  
"The lights Jack…the lights. I think they're coming!" Charlie said excitedly as he motioned for Jack to follow him outside.

"Who's coming Charlie?" Jack asked worried as he stood up.

"Help, I think we're about to be saved!" Charlie's grin faded when he noticed how relieved Jack seemed to be with the news. "Well I guess it's no big deal to you, since we've been on this blasted island for god knows how long. I would think that you would be excited to get off this bloody island."

"How can you be so sure that we're being rescued? It could be the others again. As far as I'm concerned it could be anyone. Where is Sayid I need to talk to him about this, and have you seen Kate?"

Charlie's head was spinning with exhilaration, and unfortunately Jack was bringing him down. "I think I'll go announce the news to someone else…someone that is excited as me."

"Have you seen Kate and Sayid?" Jack repeated.

"They're both on the beach," Charlie glanced back Jack once more and then turned around. "There is no need to form a plan…because there was a plane Jack, a plane…I doubt the others have planes."

"We don't know what they have. They had a boat didn't they."

Charlie scowled. "I'm going to go find Claire,"

Jack followed Charlie outside. He searched the dark beach for Kate and Sayid and was astounded to find most of the castaways gawking towards the sky in wonder. Out of curiosity Jack looked up as well. He looked up at the bright lights in the sky, and then clenched his jaw. The plane was circling. Jack looked away, he was positive that the others didn't have charter jets like that. Fighting the urge to continue to search for Sayid, Jack decided that finding Kate was more important.

Jack walked through the crowd. His hazel eyes searched the beach hoping to find a glimpse of Kate. A couple of seconds later he spotted her standing by the ocean. She was all alone, and her head was titled towards the sky like everyone else's as she watched the plane. Kate's arms were wrapped around her body, and Jack could swear that he saw her shiver. So he turned around and quickly jogged to the tent where he grabbed a button down white shirt. Jack made his way out of the tent and back towards Kate.

"Hey," He said to her.

Kate was so out of it that she didn't seem to notice that Jack was approaching.

Jack unbuttoned the long sleeved shirt and then reached out for Kate's arm tenderly. She gasped and pulled back. His eyes softened as he looked back at her with care. "It's just me," Jack replied in just below a whisper.

Kate gave him a small smile. "I'm sorry, I'm just a little out of it. Jack, do you think that plane is here to rescue us?"

Jack reached for Kate's arm again and slid it into the right sleeve. "Possibly, but I'm not sure."

"They can't find me."

Jack clenched his jaw as he got behind Kate. Usually she would tell him that she could dress herself but not today. Jack reached for her other arm and caressed her skin with his calloused hands. Her arm was covered with goosebumps, but still soft to the touch. Once the shirt was on, Jack stood beside Kate and looked out towards the ocean with her. She was sinking again, and now he was sinking with her.

Jack closed his eyes as the breeze gently whipped around his face. The ocean water rushed over his feet, and then the sand slipped from underneath causing him to sink in deeper. Jack opened his eyes and glanced at Kate from the corner of his eye. The moonlight cascaded down on her highlighting every captivating feature, from her freckles to her smooth skin. Kate's chocolate tresses were tied in a clip that rested on her shoulder, and her beautiful green eyes were set on the ocean, watching as the waves came in. Jack had to look away, because he could see the tears glistening in her eyes.

They stood in silence for a while longer, sinking, and listening to the excited banter from the crowd behind them.

"Thanks for the shirt," Kate said softly.

Jack nodded. He looked over at Kate hoping that she would look at him, but she didn't. "You're welcome Kate, and you don't have to thank me…it's just a shirt." He forced a smile, but Kate didn't seem to notice.

Another plane appeared behind the first, and they both began to circle.

"They must be searching for a place to land, so they can rescue us." Kate wiped away her tears. "And cart me off to jail. I'm sure any normal person would wish to get off of this island, but I don't want too. I don't want to be rescued so I can spend the rest of my life locked up in some prison." Kate swallowed down a lump in her throat. "I deserve to be locked up for the horrible things that I've done, but I don't want to be Jack."

"You don't deserve to be locked up…"

Kate sniffled as she looked up at Jack. "I do, you don't have to be nice to me now. Because when they come I'll be handcuffed in seconds, and return back to being Kate Austen the fugitive."

"No, you won't. After going through all of this, and having the opportunity to change your life around. I doubt anyone will sentence you to jail Kate, you don't belong in jail, and they'll see that."

"No, they won't." Kate placed her hand on Jack's shoulder and then trailed her hands down to his arm. She gave it a gentle squeeze and then walked towards her tent.

Jack watched her. He didn't know what would happen to Kate when they got rescued but he felt it was his duty to try and find something positive to say. Even though he was usually straight forward and honest, he needed to believe that after they were saved he could be with her. Jack didn't want Kate to go to jail. He shoved his hands in his pockets as he looked down at Kate's footprints in the sand. The ocean water rushed over the spot where she once stood filling the indents with sand. Just like that her footprints could be replaced, but Jack couldn't really imagine life without Kate. He had grown used to her over the last couple of months. She had an infectious smile, and somehow she always knew the right things to say. Jack was charmed by Kate. He loved her.

The lights from the planes up ahead grew brighter. Jack's eyebrows furrowed low over his eyes as he watched the castaways wave their hands in the air and yell to the sky as if there shouts would be heard. Jack wanted to be rescued. He wanted to get back to civilization, but how could he imagine going back to a normal life, without Kate. Jack sighed to himself. What was he doing, he should be with Kate. She was probably scared and she needed someone to give her hope…even if Jack was uncertain about Kate's future he was going to try and ease her worries. Jack turned around and walked towards he tent.

He pushed aside the tarp that was hanging over the manmade structure and stepped inside. He crossed his arms as he watched Kate pack three bottles of water into her book bag.

"Do you think three will be enough?" She asked.

Jack bent down next to Kate, "Is three enough for what?"

Kate looked back at Jack uncertainly, and instead of answering his question focused back on what she was doing.

She always did that when she was withholding information from him. Kate shook her head as she tucked the bottles of water away. She then grabbed a couple of clothes next to her blanket. "I'm going to miss our treks, you know."

"Me too," Jack replied thoughtfully. He watched as Kate zipped up her book bag. Even through the darkness he could see the sadness in her eyes. Jack bit his lip as he looked at Kate. He needed to talk to her so he could find out what she was planning. "Where are you going Kate?" He said finally.

"You can't stop me Jack,"

"I'm not trying to stop you. I just want to know where you're going." He said softly.

Kate stepped closer to Jack. He looked down at her hoping that she would let him in, but instead of telling him anything she pushed back the tarp covering. "They'll find a place to land soon, so I've got to go."

"Go where?"

"There's no where to go. I'm not getting on that plane and giving up the little piece of freedom I have left. I'd rather be alone and free for the rest of my life than miserable in jail." Kate stepped around Jack.

He stood there reeling from the realization that Kate planned on staying on the island. Jack didn't know what to do or think.

"Bye Jack,"

"You can't stay here," Jack said quickly.

Kate looked back at Jack in disappointment. "You can't tell me what to do."

"I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you what I don't want, and I don't want you to stay." His order came out more in the tone of a plea. Jack exhaled as he looked back at Kate. He couldn't imagine leaving her behind on this island all alone. "Kate, we've been on this island for a couple of months now, and during that time, we've been attacked by savages, polar bears, and monsters…and we still don't know what else is out there."

"I know Jack, either way I'm screwed, but at least here I have a chance." Kate knew that she sounded crazy, but she had run all of her life and she wasn't going to stop now. "Take care of yourself, Jack," Kate longed to tell Jack that she wanted him to stay, but that would be selfish. Kate gazed back at him sadly as she tried to bring herself to hug him, but the look in his eyes was so delicate. As if she had just stabbed him in the back. Kate raised her arms in the air deciding that she couldn't let Jack go without as much as a hug. But he stepped back.

Kate's mouth dropped open in disappointment. She was hurt, but what did she expect. Kate looked down at the sand, and then slowly brought her eyes back to his.

"Bye Jack," Kate turned around. Her ponytail flew behind her petite figure as she walked away from the camp.

Jack felt as if she was walking towards her death. 'Live together or die alone,' didn't that mean anything to Kate? The engines from the planes above were getting louder. They were getting closer to the island, and Jack suspected they would touch down in less than fifteen minutes. Kate tried to hug him, but he had pulled away because he was stubborn. He wanted her to be rescued with him, because even if she was in jail he could see her everyday. Did Kate know that he would never leave her no matter what happened? Jack clenched his jaw as he watched Kate disappear, she was slipping further and further into the night. He was losing the woman he loved, like a candle in the wind, she was just blowing away. Jack didn't want Kate to stay, because he feared that he would find himself trying to find this island again just to be with her.

As Kate slipped further away Jack felt his stubbornness start to break down. She stitched him up the first day the plane had crashed, and when he broke his arm, Kate had made him a sling. She took care of him, when he was so busy taking care of everyone else. Kate had been there for him since the beginning.

Jack slowly inched towards the direction Kate had taken off in. He was going to try and convince her to go with him one last time. The crazy idea of running away with her, invaded his mind. Jack quickly shot the idea down, because no matter how romantic it was, he didn't want to stay on the island. He was tired of this place, and he missed some kind of normalcy. Jack watched as Kate walked into the woods. Figuring it would be hard to find her in the dark without fire, Jack took off running down the beach. He had to stop her, before he lost her forever.

"Kate!" Jack yelled at the top of his lungs.

The engines from up ahead drowned out his voice. So Jack continued to run. He looked around the vegetation desperately hoping that he would get a glimpse of Kate's green shirt. He sighed in relief when he found her leaning against a tree with her arms crossed.

"Kate," Jack said breathlessly.

She looked up in surprise. "I haven't changed my mind,"

"But you stopped," Jack pointed out as he walked over to her. He wished that he had the right words to say, but at the moment his mind was blank. All he knew was that he didn't want to loose her. Jack's eyebrows furrowed low over his eyes at Kate. She was quiet, and he could tell that she was thinking. "I can't just leave you here."

"I know, live together or die alone," Kate replied looking into Jack's eyes.

Jack nodded, "That's right."

"I stopped because I didn't get the chance to say goodbye." Kate pouted as she tore her eyes away from Jack. "I don't like to say goodbye. But you deserve one."

"I don't want you to tell me goodbye," Jack said as he looked back at Kate hurt.

"Don't make this any harder for me than it has to be, or I'm not going to be able to do it." Kate said tearfully. She squeezed her eyes shut as her shoulders began to heave. "This is so hard."

Jack watched as Kate cried. He wanted to take her in his arms and protect her, but right now he was having trouble dealing with his own emotions. A part of him feared that if he held Kate then he wouldn't be able to let go. "Don't stay here Kate,"

Kate remained silent as she turned away from him. She placed her hand against the tree as she struggled to regain her composure. "I should've just kept walking why did I stop? Bye Jack,"

Jack watched disheartened as Kate walked away from him. Impulsively he walked after her and wrapped his arms around her. Kate didn't try to fight him at first, but then she tried to get him to let her go. "If you stay here, then I won't be able to leave."

"Yes you will,"

"I don't want to stay here," Jack whispered into Kate's ear.

"Neither do I, but I don't have a choice. You do have a choice, so you should go." Kate placed her hands on Jack's arms, and forced him to let her go. "I'll be okay."

Jack squeezed his eyes shut as he felt tears form in his eyes. "No you won't. What if something happens to you, who will help you Kate, if there is no one here?"

Kate forced a weak smile, "I don't know, a polar bear?"

Jack obviously wasn't amused. He looked away in silent frustration. "I care about you, and so do a lot of other people here."

"And I care about you…and them too, but I need my freedom Jack," Kate whispered. She stepped away from him, but her heart beat weakly when she looked into his eyes. "You can't save everyone,"

"I don't care about everyone…right now, right here, all I care about it you." Jack said. He scowled as he looked back at Kate. He was stubborn and so was she, and he knew the sad truth was that he probably wouldn't be able to change her mind.

"I'll be okay," Kate repeated as she took Jack by surprise. She hugged him tightly. Kate wrapped her arms around his neck.

Jack stood there like a statue for a couple of seconds, looking up towards the planes with a dead expression until he felt Kate's nose rest against his neck. As if a surge of electricity had shot through him his muscles relaxed as he allowed himself to give in. Jack wrapped Kate up in his arms. Just as he expected he didn't want to let go. Jack swallowed hard as he buried his face in her hair. "Don't stay here," He begged again.

"Jack, I have too."

"What about us…I thought we had something." Jack said more to himself than to Kate. He was just rambling now, because he was unable to control his thoughts from spilling out. All his life he had regretted the things that he never said, but he didn't want to regret tonight. "I can't leave you behind here, because you're a part of me Kate…you're a part of me."

Kate leaned away from him. "Jack, where is all of this coming from?"

"When you kissed me, I told you that I didn't regret it, and I meant it." Jack exhaled as he cupped Kate's face in his. It was easier to express his feelings to Kate than he had expected, maybe because this could be their last day together. Jack's lip trembled as he looked deep into Kate's jade saucers. "I never expected to come to this island and become attached to anyone…but you got me Kate. I was so caught up in my anger and frustration that I tried to ignore how I felt about you for a while. It was easy to push you away, because you were always the only thing that felt right."

Kate placed her hands on Jack's as she listened. "Jack, I have to go."

"I love you Kate,"

Kate looked back at Jack in fear. She was enthralled to hear those words come his mouth, but it was too late, it was just too late. "Jack, they'll land any second. I should really go." Kate said desperately. She brought Jack's hands down to his sides, but before she could get away Jack leaned forward to kiss her.

Jack rested his nose against Kate's as he pressed his lips tenderly against hers own He placed his arm behind her back to steady her as he continued to explore her mouth. Kate rested her hand against his chest. Jack feared that Kate would push him away so he reached for her hand and entwined it between his. With this kiss he needed to show her how much he cared about her, his feelings that he couldn't put into words.

"Jack," Kate said through kisses.

Jack continued to kiss her desperately, because he had broken down, and completely lost himself in the moment. He breathed in the oxygen from her lungs, and allowed the sweetness from her full lips to persuade him into thinking that she would change her mind. Kate kissed him for a couple seconds longer allowing Jack to believe that he had changed her mind and then she moved away from him.

"Jack, you're a doctor, I'm a fugitive it's not…" Kate sighed. She suddenly found herself choked up. Kate pouted back at him, her head slowly tilted to the side as she gazed back at him. She needed to say something but she didn't know what. Kate's fingernails dug into the sleeves of the flannel shirt Jack had given her. "Tha…Thanks for the shirt."

Jack nodded slowly. He couldn't do anymore than he already had. He told her how he felt, but Kate would only listen to him to so much, and then she would do what she wanted. Unable to bear the sight of her standing in front of him, with a backpack on her shoulders, and that look of fear stretched across her face, Jack turned away. He had to let go, he had to force himself too somehow.

* * *

Kate watched as Jack walked away. He told her he loved her, but there was nothing she could do about it. She wanted to chase after him and tell her that she loved him too, but it was too late. Besides he was going to leave the island and she was going to be left behind. Maybe it was better this way, because she was never meant to find love. Kate felt tears glide down her cheeks as the realization that Jack was really leaving her set in. Kate placed her hand to her mouth as she started to cry aloud. She could still feel Jack's lips on her own, and his strong arms wrapped tightly around her, as if she was his, and he would stop at nothing to protect her. Kate shook her head of the thoughts as she walked deeper into the dark forest. She was scared, because she didn't want to be alone in this crazy place, sentenced to wonder alone for the rest of her life…until a polar bear decided to attack her, or she got sick, whichever came first.

Kate wiped away her tears with one hand. She thought about going back, but then she changed her mind. Jack said he loved her, but he loved the Kate that he had met on the island. She was a different person than she used to be, she changed, and back in the states she would have to face her past, and Kate wasn't sure if Jack would love her then. He was a doctor, a very handsome doctor, who could have any woman he wanted so why would he want her?

Kate stopped and looked up towards the sky. The planes were going to land any moment. Without thinking any further Kate started to run. She tore through the jungle dodging branches, and ignoring the frightening sounds around her. She heard the engines from the planes, the rustling of trees, and animals around her, but she couldn't stop. The darkness embraced her as she tried to disappear forever.

* * *

Jack joined the on lookers as they continued to watch the planes in amazement. He looked around at them and then watched the ocean. He wasn't sure if he wanted to be rescued any longer, not without Kate. It was unfair for her to do this to him. Jack clenched his jaw as his eyes glistened with tears. How could she expect him to just leave her here?

"Jack, what's wrong?" Rose asked walking over to him.

Jack shook his head as he looked up towards the planes. "Nothing,"

"Now you know that you can't lie to me," Rose said with a warm smile. "I would offer you some Kleenex if I had some, but maybe they might have some on the plane."

Jack laughed to himself. "I should be happy to be rescued just like everyone else."

"Everyone's not happy dear." Rose replied as she looked out towards the sea and twirled her wedding band around her finger. "Some of us actually don't want to be rescued."

Jack remained silent.

"We've got to take the good and the bad and measure it. This island has been a horrible place at times, but it's also brought some good."

"I'm sorry Rose, but I'm not really in the mood for a conversation now," Jack mumbled. He felt horrible, but the only thing he could think about now was Kate.

"I know dear, but I'm just saying that sometimes in life you've got to weigh the pros and the cons. Where is Kate?"

Jack shrugged, "I don't know,"

Rose patted Jack on the back. "This island has brought some good, and I have a feeling that not everyone wants to be rescued." She repeated.

"Rose," Bernard said approaching his wife.

Rose rubbed Jack's back a little longer and then joined Bernard. Just like Kate, Bernard had a book bag, and underneath his arm he had a couple of blankets. "I know you love her Jack," She added.

Jack swallowed.

"We should go Rose," Bernard advised as he looked towards the planes. He looked sad, but yet when he looked into Rose's eyes relief seemed to wash over him. Bernard wrapped his arm around Rose's waist and together they walked towards the forest.

"Rose, Bernard, where are you going?" Jack asked surprised.

"Like I said not everyone wants to be rescued." Rose said.

Bernard looked back at Jack, "We don't have any other choice but to stay. I'd rather stay on this island with Rose, than continue on without her. Take care Jack."

Jack watched them disappear just like Kate.

Bernard was staying with Rose, because he loved her. Jack wasn't sure why they were staring, but whatever the reason Bernard was staying because of his love for his wife. Jack loved Kate enough to give up everything and make the ultimate sacrifice. But it was easier said than done. He walked back towards his camp slowly. He told himself that he was getting packed, so he could be ready when the planes finally landed, but after he finished gathering some clothes, and a couple empty bottles, Jack knew that he wasn't planning on getting rescued.

He quickly walked to the watering hole and filled up the bottles. Thankfully no one asked him any questions as he walked down the beach. He was crazy for doing this. The thought of dying on the island crept into Jack's subconscious, which caused him to close his eyes sadly. He didn't want to die on this island. But then Jack thought about Kate, and that was enough to keep him going.

The planes were landing somewhere close by. Jack started to run, while the whole time trying to figure out why he was doing this again. Ignoring reason, and following his heart Jack decided that he wasn't ready to let Kate go and continued to run blindly through the woods.

* * *

Days had passed since Kate left Jack behind. She didn't hear the planes anymore so she assumed that they had all left. It was nighttime now, and she sat alone with her eyes focused on a fire burning in front of her. The last couple of days she had barely slept, because a small part of her wanted to believe that Jack had stayed. What was she thinking? Being all alone on this island was driving her crazy. She was frightened and now she wished that she had gone with Jack because at least then she would be able to see him. Kate pouted sadly as she brought her knees up to her chest. She had run away from him again, and now here she was. All alone, and worse off than before.

Kate rested her head against her knees as the realization of what she had done hit her hard. "What have I done?"

Tears fell down her cheeks as the silence that surrounded her became more apparent. It was just her in this crazy place. She was going to die alone. Kate wrapped her arms tighter around her body as she looked up towards the sky. She wished a plane would come again, at least if she went to jail, then there was the possibility that Jack would come and visit her. The possibility of seeing him was better than nothing at all.

The sound of rustling leaves startled Kate.

She stopped crying and then listened as someone approached. Small droplets of rain started to fall from the skies, followed by a sudden downpour. Kate shivered as she searched around for the gun she had stolen from Jack's tent.

"Kate!"

Kate stopped searching. She thought she heard Jack, but it was possible that she was hallucinating. She had been alone for days desperate for some company preferably his, so it was possible that she was just hearing things. But then she heard her name again. Kate jumped up. She looked around desperately. "Ja…Jack?"

The heavy rain continued to fall soaking her to the bone. Instead of looking for a tree to find shelter under, Kate continued to search Jack.

"Kate!"

"Jack, where are you!" Kate screamed at the top of her lungs.

"Kate, is that you." She heard him say.

Kate looked in front of her, and sure enough a couple of yards away stood Jack. He was wearing the same clothes that she had last seen him in. He stayed on the island, he stayed for her. "Jack!" Kate cried as she ran over to him.

Jack dropped his bag to the ground and caught Kate in his arms.

She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, and her legs around his waist. "You didn't leave me Jack, you didn't leave me."

"I thought I would never find you, and I course I didn't leave you." He replied in adoration as he gazed into Kate's eyes.

"Jack," Kate traced her hand across his face and then placed her hands underneath his chin. She kissed his rain soaked lips with love. Kate's feet came back in contact with the ground, as she placed her hand behind Jack's head and came up to kiss him, standing on her tipee toes.

"I couldn't leave you." Jack said into Kate's ear as he brought his lips away from the safe haven of her lips. "I rather have you on this island, than not have you at all."


End file.
